Commenting on Commenters

OK, here I go again. I'm going to comment on commenters. I realise it's a waste of time; it won't change anyone's view. Indeed, the commenters I'll be commenting on surely don't read this blog. They'd be reading www.theweeklydrive.com or www.theweeklyidiot.com or something. Still, commenting on commenters is soothing for me.

Of course, if I just held back from reading the comments, I wouldn't get so worked up that soothing was necessary. But I can't help myself. It's like not being able to resist staring at a terrible car accident or a crazy person. For some reason, us humans are into train wrecks.

Today, I was reading Bike riders' bid for car-free zone to extend into St Kilda Road in The Age. Have a read if you like. If you can't be bothered, it can be summed-up thus; some bike riders are bidding to extend the car-free zone into St Kilda Road.

The plan

And, here's what some people said (my comments in a soothing shade of blue):

Bike Thief 2012

Thanks to Chilli Cycles for the heads up on this one. I wonder if I'd stop someone who was in the process of stealing a bike? I might be scared of getting shot. Not sure...I'm confident a hardened criminal could stare me down pretty quickly come to think of it.

Anyway, check out this short film which demonstrates that bike owners can probably only depend on themselves when it comes to keeping their wheels their own.



Here are some tips from a while back on how not to get your bike stolen.

And also, don't lock your bike to a Ginkgo tree. Here's why.

Tickled Pink

Eddy Merckx in rosa during the '68 Giro

Edouard Louis Joseph, Baron Merckx (you may know him as Eddy Merckx) recently became the first inductee into the Giro d'Italia Hall of Fame. As such, he was presented with the Trofeo Senza Fine for his fifth and final Giro victory of 1974 (the trophy has only been awarded since 1999).

Milan-San Remo!

This Saturday, we've got the first of the five Monuments of 2012, Milan-San Remo. It's known in Italy as La Primavera, which mean The Spring, because it takes place in spring (all very complicated, I know).

That awkward moment when you celebrate winning Milan-San Remo before you've actually won...and then you don't win.

While the UCI sets a limit of 280km for one-day races, MSR gets special consideration and is permitted to go to 298km. It's a race where very little happens for the first 280km and then, like, a lot happens.

Road Racing, Cambodian style.

Things are never done quite the way I'm used to here in Cambodia. That's one of the things I love about the place. With that in mind, I wasn't sure what to expect when I rolled up to the start line of the inaugural Sihaoukville bike race.

Having clambered out of bed some time before 5am (I don't like giving such early times the honour of actually being named), I forced down some muesli (and accidentally purchased strawberry UHT milk...it turns out the pink packaging that so attracted me was trying to tell me something). I then pedalled down to the start, feeling equal parts smug and jealous as I rode past the last of the drunken revellers making their way back to their hostels.

The race was scheduled to start at 6am. In true Cambodian style, proceedings were to be launched by a certain "His Excellency", in this case the Minister for Tourism and head of the Cambodian Olympic Committee, Dr. Thong Khon. In true Cambodian style, Dr. Khon was late.

Tour de Fuck You #2

Following on from Tour de Fuck You, here's another clip exploring the theme of the sanctimonious cyclist.

Tour de Fuck You

Sanctimonious. Self-righteous. Self-satisfied. Smug. Preachy. Pious.

These words are often used to describe cyclists. And for good reason. Some cyclists are dickheads.  Just like some drivers. And some pedestrians. And some doctors. And some priests.

This hilarious film clip, titled Motherfucking Bike by Sons of Science, explores this notion.

Warning: Rude words.

Get your Fix

Who am I? I'm dirty. I smoke pot. I break the law.

No, not Bill Clinton.

OK, I'll give you more clues.

I deliver packages. I carry mini D-locks in my pants. I use Chrome messenger bags exclusively.

Still not sure? OK, one last set of clues in the form of a picture;

Le Tour de Whatever

Rémi Gaillard is a French humourist who posts his videos on YouTube. He became famous in 2002 when he dressed up as an FC Lorient football player during the Coupe de France. While in disguise, he posed for photographs with the team, signed autographs and shook hands with the president at the time, Jacques Chirac.

In the video below, he got a bunch of mates together to simulate a Tour de France type scene for random cyclists out on their Sunday ride. Complete with Tour de n'importe quoi (Tour of whatever) car and t-shirts, photographers, streakers and screaming fans, the scene strikes the tone of the Tour perfectly.

Gaillar's motto is Cest en faisant n'importe quoi qu'on devient n'importe qui (It's by doing whatever that one becomes whoever). I don't really know what that means, but it's funny shit.